H E L L O * P E E P S
I've been back for less than a week so I really don't have anything to update you on. However, I wanted to keep my three-day-a-week blogging going so I had to come up with something to entertain you, right?
ENTER Lenora Good!!
She's a blogger friend and the other day she sent me the COOLEST EMAIL EVER. Well, it's pretty close to the coolest thing ever. It's a wonderful ode on "how to write good".
HOW TO WRITE GOOD
by Frank L. Visco
My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:
1.Avoid alliteration. Always.
2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4.Employ the vernacular.
5.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8.Contractions aren't necessary.
9.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10.One should never generalize.
11.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12.Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13.Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
15.Be more or less specific.
16.Understatement is always best.
17.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.The passive voice is to be avoided.
21.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23.Who needs rhetorical questions?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOVE IT!!
Now go out and have a freakin' fantabulous weekend! If you're doing NaNo ... Write! Write! Write!
And write even if you're not!
My NaNo word count total: 8,111