THROWDOWN SHOWDOWN: Round Two, The Beta Hero

Today will focus on what the beta is and what makes him yummy in all his own ways.

 Let's do this ...

* DING * DING *

Again, let's get the cliches out of the way. The beta male is:

-Shy (possibly)

-Silent (possibly)

-Sweet (most certainly)

-Easygoing, but not a pushover

-Comforting

-Doesn't like confrontation (but he doesn't really back down on an issue he wants resolved)

-Unassertive (because he doesn't want to hurt someones feelings)

-Practical

-Determined

-Is always available when needed (he's like the good best friend)

-Kind, responsible, decent

-Good sense of humor (and he uses it to deflect uncomfortable feelings sometimes)

-Assesses situations before making decisions

-Mr. Nice Guy/Everyday Joe

Hmmm ... sounds WAY different from the alpha, right?

Basically, the beta male is sensitive to what's around him. Especially the heroine. Instead of pushing her buttons, he will let her take the lead because that's what makes her happy. He will help her, not force his own ideas on her. He doesn't push, he doesn't crawl to the head of the pack because he's only thinking about himself. He's too busy worrying about everyone else to really worry about him.

Everyone together now, "aaaaawwwwwww"

Seriously, though. This man can do anything. Unlike the alpha, the beta wears his emotions inside. If he's crushed because of something his woman did/said, he won't confront it. He will brood silently (most times) in order to not hurt others. He'll hide his emotions with humor in order to makes others smile, although he might be dying on the inside.

This guy was your best friend in high school, the man in the cubicle next to you that the boss relies on, the guy you see walking his dogs and playing with kids in the park, the grocery store clerk that always makes you laugh, the silent man on the bus who always gives up his seat and glances your way without saying a word. He is the everyday guy. 

He's not a wimp. He's not a sissy. He's not afraid. He has feelings. And like women, those feelings are complex and he does his best to deal with them in the only why he knows how--quietly. 

The problem with the beta hero is since he's so nice and sweet and hides his feelings, it is hard to know when he's upset, sad, angry, frustrated, in love, etc. Because unlike the Alpha who roars his feelings 24/7, kicks, stomps, growls, and kisses like it will be the last time, the beta has a reserved sense of self. A reserved sense of confidence. A reserved ... everything. But he doesn't give up easily and he doesn't give in. He just goes after everything in his own special way (and that "way" depends on what the author has created him to do).

And he is the man that women fall in love with. 

Here are some examples of beta heroes in movies:

Orlando Bloom in "Pirates of the Caribbean"

Bill Pullman in "While You Were Sleeping"

Ryan Reynolds in "The Proposal"

Keanu Reeves in "The Replacements"

Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer"

Toby Maguire in "Spiderman"

Here's the perfect example of a beta male. The song (and all the things that happen during the video ... yes, that's a beta. I LOVE YOU BRUNO! Ahem, okay, here it is:

Here's the thing I love so much about the beta:

He's unpredictable. Alphas? Pretty predictable. Betas? Not so much. And it is this vulnerable unpredictability that makes women fall in love with them everyday. Beautifully strong, quietly confident, strangely addictive. I hereby swoon. ;-)

What makes you love the beta hero? Can you think of any good examples in books/movies/etc? Don't forget to come back on Friday to watch the alpha and beta go head-to-head! It's gonna be good. 

~JD

Side note: this makes me wonder why the Beta Fish is called the Beta Fish. I mean, they are aggressive to boot! Why not call them Alpha Fish? Way more fitting!